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Monday, November 14, 2011

Camel Toes and Chinese Junk

Kids have a tendency to say some pretty funny things...even when they don't intend to.I often wonder if, some day, they will grow up to be sitcom writers. Some of the things they say and do is definitely funnier than most of the garbage-filled, short-lived sitcoms on TV today. I offer the following snippets:

My oldest son and I had just returned from getting his braces on (irrelevant, I know), when out of nowhere, he says, "Mom, I have a question. What's a camel toe?" This is the part where I looked at the child as if he had 3 heads and said to him, "Uhhh...well...it's uh.......why do you want to know?" Now, let me state that I generally do ask my children why they want to know something so that I can determine exactly how much information needs to be given to suffice their inquisitive little minds.  Anyway....he tells me, "You know that song 'Come Together' by the Beatles?" To which I reply, "Yes........" He says, "Well, they say it in there and I didn't know what it meant."

At this point, I'm trying my best (and failing miserably) not to laugh at the child. He was dead serious and waiting patiently for my answer. I did what I could to muster up the determination to answer the boy with the most mom-ish answer I could find in my brain, which was currently occupied trying to run quickly through the lyrics of this song trying to figure out which verse contained anything about a camel toe!! Instead of answering him directly, I say to him, "I'm pretty sure it doesn't say 'camel toe'" He assures me it does. I ask him to sing me the part of the song that says it. He says he can't remember which part. So, I tell him to do what any normal mom would tell him to do, "Google the lyrics and show me where it says that".

He Googles the lyrics and proceeds to tell me, "This one must not be right because it's not on here". YA THINK?!?! At this point, I can't help but laugh. Obnoxiously. For an extended period of time. Poor kid is still just waiting for an answer. So, I obliged by telling him, "You know how when a girl's pants are too tight?.....well, it's um.....let's just say it's a wedgie in the front....." You could see in his eyes that the proverbial light bulb had just gone off. Then I proceed to say to him, "Now do you see why I was positive that THAT is NOT what they said in that song?!" 

Moving on.....This story needs prefaced with the following information: Any time a toy or something breaks around here, a certain member of the family likes to call it "Chinese junk". Being that most things, these days, are made in China, I guess it's appropriate to assume that the junk came from there.

This past week, my youngest son went to dinner at a local Japanese hibachi steak house with my Mother-In-Law for a family member's birthday. I suppose my son was not all that impressed with the display as he kept getting up from his seat and hiding behind his Grandmother's chair. At one point during the routine,the chef  was balancing and juggling (or attempting to) a raw egg with his spatula. Apparently, there was some miscommunication between the chef and the egg because the egg fell to its untimely demise and broke. My son, didn't hesitate to spew out, with unfaltering conviction, "Chinese Junk!" The chef, whom, I assume, was Japanese, clearly heard my son's opinion of this egg  and quickly responded, "That's right! Chinese Junk!"


I suppose I should just be thankful that A:) I wasn't there and B.) It wasn't said at the China Buffet!

Kids!

1 comment:

  1. lmao i love my nephews nieces and kids the things they can say are priceless

    ReplyDelete